Practice Steady Detachment — Fearless Engagement
- john658494
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
In commercial real estate, we talk endlessly about passion.
Passion for the deal. Passion for the design. Passion for the close.
But The 50th Law by Robert Greene and 50 Cent reminds us of a quieter discipline—one that separates durable leaders from reactive ones:
Steady detachment is the ability to separate your ego from the outcome—to care deeply about the work without being emotionally hijacked by a single result. When you detach from fear, pride, and desperation, you earn something rare in this business: clarity under pressure.
That clarity makes fearless engagement possible. You see the board as it is. You pivot faster. You take the hit, learn, and step back in.
Here’s how the Icons of DC Area Real Estate practice detachment—not by disengaging, but by engaging more intelligently.
1. Don’t Fall in Love with the Bricks
The first test of steady detachment is emotional distance from the asset.
We entitle properties for years. We sweat zoning hearings, capital stacks, design revisions. It’s easy—human—to treat projects like family. But the best leaders know when attachment becomes a liability.
Fish or Cut Bait. David Orr of Orr Partners puts it bluntly: “You can’t fall in love with your real estate… you have to know when to fish or cut bait.” Discipline means recognizing when a deal no longer serves the enterprise—regardless of sunk cost.
Capital Has No Memory. Grant Ehat of Willard Retail learned early that capital loyalty is a mistake. If money can earn a better risk-adjusted return elsewhere, fearless engagement means redeploying it—without nostalgia.
Attachment clouds judgment. Detachment protects it.
2. Control What You Can. Accept What You Can’t.
Much of the anxiety in this industry comes from fighting forces we don’t control—rates, regulators, markets, partners.
Icons conserve energy by narrowing their focus.
It Is What It Is. Brad Olsen offers a mantra for longevity: accept reality quickly, then move to solution mode. Rumination is not strategy.
You Only Control Yourself. Gary Cohen of Willco learned the hard way that you can’t manage other people’s reactions—only your own. That realization alone eliminates half the friction in leadership.
The Flight Plan, Not the Prophecy. Bruce Kirsch reminds us not to take ourselves—or our models—too seriously. Pro formas are flight plans: essential to takeoff, guaranteed to change mid-air.
Detachment doesn’t reduce responsibility.
It reduces wasted motion.
3. Get Back in the Ring
Once you detach from the fear of losing, you gain the courage to keep engaging.
Stay in the Fight. Bob Buchanan of Buchanan Partners offers simple, visceral guidance: “Get in the ring. And if you get knocked out—get back in.” Progress favors those who re-enter.
Deconstruct, Don’t Retreat. Len Forkas lived this principle literally. After a failed, life-threatening Everest attempt, he rebuilt his process decision by decision—then summited successfully the following year. Failure became data.
Go First. Be Bold. Evan Goldman of EYA urges young professionals not to wait for permission. Blake Potolicchio of Open Industrial distills it further: Be bold.
Detachment makes courage repeatable.
4. Trust Your Instincts
Noise is loudest when you’re emotionally attached. Detachment restores signal.
Trust Your Gut. Moiz Doriwala notes that his hardest lessons didn’t come from taking risks—but from ignoring instinct under external pressure.
Live Aware. Ethan Penner challenges leaders to choose awareness moment by moment. Presence—real presence—is only possible when fear of judgment no longer runs the room.
The Challenge
This week, notice where you’re gripping the wheel too tightly.
Detach from needing this deal to work.
Detach from proving you’re right.
Detach from the illusion of control. “Do not waste time on what you cannot control.” (Marcus Aurelius)
And then engage—fully, clearly, fearlessly.
That’s not retreat. That’s leadership.
Stay fearless!
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